Who The Fuck is Maris The Great!?
Maris the Great is the foul tempered, putrid, heap of gangrenous flesh heralded as the unquestioned leader of the gay undead; a zombie fag with a nasty disposition and a lust for mortal ween. "You will die!!" he growls as he lurks in the shadows, hunting the bands of the world, all in a quest to rid the music industry of talent which proves to be a competitive threat to his own group, “Maris The Great and The Faggots of Death”.
But it wasn't always maggots and undead fellatio.
With his musical roots firmly planted in disco, Maris was originally nothing more than a normal, mortal, gay man who sang vocals for “The Heterosexually Challenged”; one of Denver's hottest dance bands in the late 90's. One night after a show, Maris went home with a stranger for a night of passion. Little did he know that the man he picked up was a zombie, and upon arriving back at his place he was ravenously assaulted from behind - all with such force that his head was ultimately pounded straight through the headboard of the bed they both were fucking on. Maris would have died there if not for the zombie ejaculate within his rectum, which combined with a slight perforation on his sphincter to invade his bloodstream and bring about his undead resurrection.
However, with reanimation came a new mission and purpose to Maris’s unlife. He stapled his gaping head wound shut, shaved his head into his now trademark mohawk, and hatched a new musical plan. Disco was out, heavy music was in. He would now force a change of musical direction upon the world. As the zombie virus solidified its placement within his DNA, he felt its inherent power surging with that if his own homosexual ambitions, and thus came to dub himself “The Great”. But he wouldn’t be able to do it alone, he crept upon his mortal band and elicited they’re allegiance to his undead cause. Thus, he set off on the path to take his band – now under the moniker “The Faggots of Death” – to the heights of rock stardom!
However, much to his dismay, he quickly discovered that it wouldn't be as easy as he had originally thought. There were already other rock bands pursuing the very same goal. Millions of them! Enraged that a mere mortal group might achieve the stardom that he felt was only rightful to him and his Faggots of Death, Maris The Great devised a scheme that was certain to enhance his band's chances of making it to the top: He would kill off ALL of the competition! With the lure of free publicity and the guise of promotional support, he began contacting groups to see if they would be interested in a round of question and answer sessions for his newly erected website, www.MarisTheGreat.com. Most of them happily accepted – eager for the publicity as they were – not realizing it would be the interview of their demise.
Word about this controversial new website spread quickly throughout the Rocky Mountain region. Some of the areas hottest acts started appearing on it; displayed in extremely bloody and explicit photos which depicted them “fictitiously” being murdered by Maris. Since no one could possibly fathom that such executions were real, no one ever investigated or even tried to stop him. As such, Maris became a local legend and folk icon - ultimately appearing on radio, billboards, video, and within magazines. By the time his devious and murderous ways were discovered to be all too real, it was already much too late. Maris The Great had, by that point, gone national, and had already put such heavy hitting notches under his belt as “Throwdown”, “Less Than Jake”, “Comeback Kid”, and “Bury Your Dead”, to name but a few. The last of these bonded so well with Maris The Great that they not only included the photographs of their demise in the packaging of their DVD "Alive," but they also took Maris out on tour with them for Ozzfest, 2005. Once there, Maris made such a zombie splash that both MTV 2 and Fuse TV did features about him, as did popular horror rag “Rue Morgue” magazine. Upon returning, Maris continued his killing spree with zealous undead homosexual lust, quickly racking up well over one hundred bands beneath his belt made from the worn flesh of mortal scrotum. His Greatness was also pleased to discover that his murders were now being published in every issue of the national publication “Hails N Horns” magazine.
However, being undead takes its toll. While most zombies are lucky to last six months, Maris The Great had endured (at the time of this writing) for 12 grueling and blood curdling years. As such, in 2011, after over a decade of death and debauchery, Maris The Great decided that it was time for him to retire – as is necessary to take care of his decomposing cadaver. Thus sealing himself within his lair, he announced that he would resurface only in the summer months...to feed.
And so, every summer, the Mile High City becomes once again gripped in fear. In the early summer Maris The Great crawls forth from his layer, caked in a crusty mesh of blood and semen, and until the last stroke of midnight on Halloween, the world's most notorious, homosexual zombie once again haunts the streets of Denver, with a ravenous hunger for the best brains, wee-wee, and rock and roll that he can sink his gnarled be glittered talons into.
Consider this your warning.
"Maris The Great's onstage and offstage antics take shock rock to a new level..." Rue Morgue Magazine
"Iron Maiden' got nothing on this fu@$%'n Killer!..."Hails N Horns Magazine
"Maris The Great? Yeah, great to stay at least a chain-saw's length away from him!!!!..." AMP magazine
"Ever wonder what would have happened if John Carpenter had fallen in love with a different type of camera?..." Loud Fast Rules
"Vile, disgusting and shocking as it is, maristhegreat.com is a touchstone for the music scene, a community badly in need of some champions...." Westword