Why don’t you give everyone a tour of the Two Tone Tennessee Hard Top?

MIK: Well hell yeah, This here is the Two Tone Tennessee Hard Top, ladies and gentlemen. We’re out in the parking lot of the BRETHREN FAST RACING TEAM’s love palace. We’re looking over this truck here. We’ve got a two tone finish on a real straight body on the left side. A little bit of a dinger here, it came with the truck though. But that’s the only dent in the truck. 392 slapped underneath this hood here. 600 Holley carb (600cfm Holley 4 barrel) 31-5’s on the meat track. (31.00-10.50-15 BF Goodrich all terrain T/A’s) It looks good doesn’t it? Look at that shine on the truck. It’s an old truck, but it’s got a lot of shine on it.

MIK: Now inside this love palace here we’ve got ourselves a two tone finish…Yeah get a picture of that sumbitch. We’ve got ourselves a real high, re-upholstered seat with a nice, two-tone finish. We’ve got a custom little steering wheel. When I had the big wheel on there, it smashed my knees up every time I got in.

What car or motorcycle most reminds you of your wee wee?

MIK: My name is Mik and I play bass for the BRETHREN FAST RACING TEAM. I would describe my cock as a ’57 Cadillac Eldorado. Two door hard top. Real long and kinda fat. (Laughs)

DON: Only two doors? You don’t want the four?

MIK: I just need a two-door model. I’ve been looking at some of those club magazines. Those boys got some hammers on ‘em. I’m like, I better just stick to the 2 door model.

DON: I don’t know what I’d classify mine as

MIK: Just call it a ’65 Comet or Mercury Montego package.

DON: Montego package. 75 like a Torino? With a 351 Cleveland in it.

MIK: Damn right, that’s what I’m saying girlfriend, (cranks neck) Mmm Mmm Mmm! (Laughs)

NATE: What car would my cock be? Maybe an El Camino.

MIK and DON: El Camino? Yeah!

NATE: Black El Camino with surf boards in back. What was that big engine, a 454? … Strong and muscular…yet agile (Laughs) Firm yet yielding (More laughter)

How did music come into your life as children?

DON: Well, I used to throw my guitar at Mik. Whack him across the head. Busted him right in the hiney.

MIK: One time it hurt

DON: Remember when you got those splinters? (Laughs)

How old were you when you started playing?

DON: I started when I was twelve.

MIK: I was 18.

Was it always guitar and bass?

DON: No, actually Mik was the singer for our very first band. Our first band was Johnny Porsche and the Carerras. We were in high school, that was the name of the fucking band and he was the front man.

MIK: (Laughing) The crowd liked us!

DON: Well, you can only handle “Louie Louie” so many times (Laughs) But when he moved to California, he picked up the bass. While he was there, I was still playing in a cover band out of high school. That’s all I did for a living, from high school on.

Who were your influences as a kid?

DON: Uh, Ronnie James Dio (Laughs) No…it’s Elvis

MIK: The King

NATE: The reason I started playing was for the release. A lot of it was the drums, but mostly it was for the release. The release and the chicks. I was 13 years old and had grapefruit nuts and…

MIK: Got tired of whacking off and wanted some chicks.

NATE: Well, no. I didn’t get tired of that. Never get tired of that (Laugh) but…I had a lot of musical influences. Everyone from Jimi Hendrix to like, The Sex Pistols. Metallica. Bands like that. Jazz cats as well. I had a lot of influences because my grandmother was a classical pianist. I grew up around classical music and gospel music, so I had a lot of different influences.

Don and Mik, how is it that one of you is into rockabilly and one of you is into funk? How did that happen?

MIK: (Takes the microphone) This is Mik…

DON: State your name and occupation

MIK: My name is Mik. I play the bass for the BRETHREN FAST RACING TEAM, how ya all doin?…It’s not that one of us is into funk and one of us is into rockabilly. We’re both into funk and rockabilly. We just like mixing the two together. That’s what keeps us groovin’.

DON: At first, I was more into rockabilly and he was more into funk.

MIK: Yeah, at first. But then I heard rockabilly stuff on the bass and I was like, “That is the fuckin’ heat”. It was a whole new world for me. And he heard the funk stuff on the guitar where it was doin’ the “wa wa” and stuff, and that was it for him. We both just kept goin’ back and forth, listening to all kinds of music. Through doin’ that, we came up with our groove.

How long did it take for you to get your sound?

DON: It took awhile. I had never sung before. I had been takin’ lessons and stuff. It was kind of weird for me. I had always been up on stage playin’. It wasn’t like I had stage fright. I had voice fright.

You have a great voice

DON: It’s developed. I need more training. Since Nate has been in the band I’ve learned a lot. Just from Nate.

Nate has an incredible, soul voice

MIK: It’s like having a brother in the band. (Laughs) We always said we needed a black drummer anyway (Laughs).

Speaking of brothers, what’s it like for two brothers being in the same band?

DON: Real short fuses.

MIK: You work with a lot of black eyes, busted up teeth, broken knuckles, dented up fenders. (Laughs)…No, we get along pretty good. I don’t know how we do it. We’re like in the army because we’re pushin’ for the same thing. We’re in the Army until we…can get out! (Laughs) We’re kind of like husband and husband you know what I mean? Because we live together, do everything together. It’s weird.

When was the last time you had a fistfight?

DON: (Laughs) It was about a month ago at the Boiler Room.

MIK: We were loading in and Don said, “where’s the door?” And I said, “It’s the one that’s fuckin’ open.” (Laughs) And he said, “Well I can’t read the fuckin’ sign backwards!” (Laughs) And we’re in the back of the truck about ready to go at it, throwin’ shit around, and this guy I haven’t seen in years comes out and says, “You guys don’t want to fight each other”. “Kick my ass, I’m the asshole!” (Laughter)

DON: He saved our asses. We know better than to fight.

In your history of fights, who kicks whose ass more often?

MIK: It’s about even. The last fight we got into, where we caused a lot of fuckin’ damage, was…he kicked my ass one time, five minutes later I’d get up and I’d kick his ass (Laughs) then he’d kick my ass (more laughter) It just kept on going. And the worse part is it started on stage at Franklin’s. People thought it was part of the show! (Laughs) And our last drummer, Gordon was on his first date with a girl he’s like, spent the last five years with. It was his first date and he said to her, “Yeah, let’s go down to see The Brethren Fast. These guys are my friends, they’re really fun, you’ll like ‘em.” And she’s like, “alright”. So they come down to see us and this fistfight starts between Don and myself on stage and shit. And she’s like, “Boy these guys really look like they’re going after it.” (Laughter) Gordon goes, “That ain’t fake, they really are fighting” (More laughter) The whole crowd was into it. They’re like “Yeah!” (Laughs)

How did it end?

DON: We got in fights all night. Woke up the next morning, I looked at him, he looked at me. I was ready to go at it and he was too. And we’re like, “I’m sorry dude”. Eight AM we both end up at the Rustic Tavern. I had a broken finger, we both had fat lips, chipped teeth, black eyes (laughs) And we’re both drinking with our arms around each other, drinkin’ beer all day long (laughs). That Monday we had to go get my finger fixed up.

Let’s talk about your CDs. Your first one was “Sideburns from Hell”. Why did you re-release it?

DON: Well, I hated it for while. I’ve finally grown back to diggin’ it again. I hated it because we had did those songs so often, over and over, that it got to the point where we were ready to get into fist fights on stage over which songs we would and wouldn’t play. Finally, one day we said, “Fine, were gonna stop doing (the songs). We just got to write new stuff.” And we stopped doing it. There was only like two songs that we kept doin’, like “Galaxie 500” and “Squirt.” That was just because they kept getting requested all the time. Now I listen to that CD and I’m like, “wow.”

You remastered the CD. Why not just go back and re-record it?

DON: I can’t even play guitar like I did back then. I don’t know what I was doin’ back then. What I was doin’ back then was…whatever was goin’ on that day, know what I mean? My guitar playin’ is very different now. To go back and re-record all that shit…I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to keep it as raw as it was. But the production of it always sucked. We did it in some dudes basement in one fuckin’ day. Everything was live. I did vocal overdubs on one song, which was “Madge.”

You’re next CD, “What In The Hell”.

MIK: We recorded that album twice, almost 3 times, actually. We decided we were going to do it at this dudes house, use this really old equipment so that it would sound really old and stuff. We had like, 30 songs to record. Our old drummer was leaving. So we needed to get it recorded so that we could teach a new drummer the stuff. It had to be done like, overnight. So we recorded it, everything was cool but then the dude said we had to get another 16 track, reel to reel to throw the vocals on. The music was already done, but the vocals…we had two scratch vocals. He said, “six hundred bucks, you buy this other machine, we’ll be even. You give me the machine, we’ll be done”. So we were like, “that’s a good deal”. We recorded at his house but it didn’t sound right. Brought all the stuff over here, couldn’t get it linked up. It didn’t sound right. We had to shit-can the whole thing and start over again. We had to bring a whole other rig in here and re-do the songs. And we were just like, all we were tryin’ to do was get all the songs down, as tight as we knew them so that we could use it as a training thing for our new drummer. But we were still pressured to make it into a CD.

Are you happy with it?

MIK: Oh, yeah.

500 Beer Drinkin’ Laps of Fun

DON: We finally grew together with Gordon (former drummer) as a unit.

MIK: Yeah and then Jeremy. He’s the fuckin’ shit on the keyboards.

There’s a song on the CD called “Hot Toddy”. That seems like a real departure from the traditional Brethren Fast sound.

DON: (Laughs) Lord, I apologize for “Hot Toddy”. No, it’s just a pop song. Just sittin here one day messin’ around. Wrote a crazy, fuckin’ pop song

I love it. The women seem to dig it too.

MIK: He hated it at first. He played it and he’s like, “Oh I wrote a new song”. We’re like, “let’s hear it”. And he goes, “it sucks”. So he played it. And we were like, “damn dude, that’s the shit!”

“Wash The Blood Away” from What In The Hell is another one.

DON: They’re so simple. “Hot Toddy” is Hootie And The Blowfish to me. The chicks dig it.

It get’s booty (laughs)

DON: That’s right!

MIK: It’s all about the booty! (Laughter)

DON: The weird thing is, some guys come up to me and say, “dude, that song is really good. I like that song.” And I look at the guy and think, “What the fuck is wrong with you?” (Laughs) I would never expect that coming out of that guys mouth.

MIK: It’s always like this, big biker guy (laughs).

DON: Songs like that go over well. They still don’t get on the radio though. That’s basically why we put them on there. We figured it’s our one shot at getting’ on the radio play.

Another offbeat song on the CD is “Hey Girl”. Is there a country influence in the band?

DON: Oh yeah. We grew up around Country music. My parents never had any radio stations on except Country. Actually, my mom wrote the words to that song.

Even the words, “You were the best damn woman in bed”? (Much laughter)

DON: NO! (Laughs) I changed some of ‘em. She wrote about 90 % of the words. I just re-arranged some of the stuff. She wrote a couple of songs. Another one called “Brass Ring”, that’s really good.

Since there is a Country influence, why aren’t the BRETHREN FAST a country band?

DON: When I was growing up, I thought country sucked because I had to listen to it. But now, I would rather listen to Country than any fuckin’ station. But we’re happy playin’ our fuckin’ brand of rockabilly.

Nate, you have metal in your musical influences. How does that mix with The Brethren Fast?

NATE: Well, these guys already had a pretty good rock influence already. I could tell from a lot of the tunes. I don’t know…right now, I’m just playing on songs that other guys wrote. I think my playing is pretty groove orientated. It infects the band, gives it a pretty good groove. I try to make the songs groove as hard as I can.

Are you part of the writing process for any new songs?

NATE: Yeah that’s the great thing. I’m definitely part of the writing process. I’m excited about it. I’m excited to be on the next CD. I’m gonna do what ever I have to do, singing and playing-wise to embellish the BRETHREN FAST sound.

Tell me about a new CD from the BRETHREN FAST.

MIK: I have lots of ideas going. My own personal feelings are that we’ll add a little more rockabilly. I’m gonna add the upright, slap bass. Other than that, do what we’ve been doin’: Sing about fast cars, hot rods and motorcycles. This one will probably have more songs about motorcycles.

Will Nate be singing on the new CD?

DON: No, he doesn’t get a mic (laughs)

NATE: I would really like to write a song and bring it to the guys. Something I’ve written and sing all the way through. I’d really like to harmonize with Don too.

What about a live CD?

MIK: We could put one out tomorrow. We have the best of the best at Herman’s. We could put it out tomorrow. I definitely want to do a live CD; it’s totally in the works.

NATE: I’m really excited about doing a live CD. We’ve got some really good material together, live. And I’m really excited to get my name on a BRETHREN FAST CD.

DON: It wouldn’t work until we had more stuff with Nate on.

MIK: Yeah that’s what I mean. He’s on most of the “best of Herman’s”

Tell me about…wait a minute. We are overdo for a wee wee question! Let me see…Oh I know. Mik!, is the “Stik” part of your name in reference to your wee wee?

MIK: (laughs) Unfortunately not. “Stik” came because I’m a slender kind of fella. A band I was in while I was in LA…they just started calling me Mik the Stik cause I’m skinny like a stick. They’d say, “Oh look at that stick up there on the bass” (laughs)

Speaking of sticks, do you carry a big stick, or would you say it’s more of a twig?

MIK: Are you talkin’ about my meat whistle? (Laughter around the room)

DON: Anything he has to say is bullshit. We had a cock size contest in Sturgis. On the fisher cooler, they’ve got the measurement for when you’re measuring the fish. So we put our cocks out on it and we had to measure it. But he goes and gets a blowjob (laughs) So he comes out with a fuckin’ boner! (More laughter) you know, and I’m like, pullin’ mine…I stretched it out to 8 inches (laughter) I’m like totally fuckin’ sloshed. Totally…Meat head here, with the fuckin’ hard cock meat whistle, won the contest ‘cuz he’s getting’ it on (laughter around the room)

MIK: All I got to say is, “thank you very much and I did not cheat.”

At some point does Nate get to be a part of some size contest?

MIK: We’ve never seen Nate’s cock yet.

DON: I asked Nate, fuckin’ right to his face, “let me see your cock” and he wouldn’t show it to me (laughter)

Is that a criteria for drummers in the BRETHREN FAST?

DON: No. They don’t have to show me their cocks, I was just interested to see it, but he wouldn’t show it. (More laughter)

Speaking of drummers, you’ve gone through some drummers. What are you doing to scare them off?

DON: Most drummers we’ve found have been allergic to Budweiser (laughter) That’s all I got to say.

Nate, how did you get hooked up with these guys?

NATE: It’s a pretty funny story actually. I lived in Winterpark, Colorado, actually, Fraser. It’s the icebox of the nation -cold place. Not a lot of women, jobs are scarce. But it’s a ski town. Back in ’95 I was in a band called Tunnel 6. It was like, progressive rock. All original rock, a really good band. It didn’t work out though. These guys (THE BRETHREN FAST) came up. I remember watching them for like, 4 years. I remember seeing so many drummers with these guys. One day I realized that I would rather be playing funky, hard driving music. It has more to do with my roots being I come from South Carolina. Their last drummer, Gordon, just decided it was time to settle down. He left the band after 2 1/2, 3 years. I’m a good friend of Gordon, so one day he calls me up and says he’s thinking of getting a job. He asked me if I would be interested in taking his place. And I said, “hell yeah”! (Laughs) The weird thing was Mik and Don didn’t know (more laughter) It was really hard for me. But I really needed a gig badly. I just moved to Denver, I didn’t have any friends. I wasn’t playing. Gordon approached me, but I just waited to see what happened. I had to try out for the position. I had to compete against another guy from Arizona. He is a great drummer. His name is Andy. He was really, really good. I guess it just turned out that these guys just thought I fit better with them.

MIK: Nate had more of the feel. Plus he learned the songs.

NATE: The other guy flew out here thinking the competition was going to be weak. I had studied the songs. It wasn’t that I played the songs better than he did. I knew all the songs, I had the feel, plus I had been watching these guys for years.

DON: He knew the whole “What In The Hell” album.

So what is it like working with these guys? Are they assholes?

(Laughter)

NATE: Well…

MIK: Don’t fuck up now, motherfucker! (Laughter around the room)

NATE: Well, they’re not assholes all the time (laughs), only part time. A couple nights a week they decide to be assholes. No, seriously, these guys are great to work with. I’ve never had so much fun in a band before. I’ve never played as much as I play with these guys.

I was hoping you’d give me some dirt

NATE: I’m not going to lie to you. They both can be cocksuckers some times.

MIK: Cocksucker? You think we’d suck your needle nuts? I don’t think so (laughs)

NATE: Let’s not go there, girlfriend! (Laughs)

MIK: Girlfriend? So now he’s calling me bitch (laughs)

NATE: I didn’t call you bitch, I called you girlfriend (more laughter)

MIK: You wait until that wig goes on again, Nate-Dogg (laughter)

What’s it like for you guys on the road?

NATE: It’s on the road trips that we actually bond. I think we bond because we’re playing in front of small crowds, we’re not getting paid much, and we have all this time in between shows together. Hotel rooms, meals, stage, drinking beer. I think that’s where I’ve really gelled with these guys. On the road where it really comes down to, “do you really want to do this or not”? Here, in town, it’s cake. It’s always fun, there’s always people watching us. But on the road is where I really feel, “Ok, we’re really a band”. That’s where I’m starting to pay my dues with these guys.

DON: The reality of being on the road is fuckin’ playing for no money (laughs). It’s just like starting over. It’s like when we first started playing in Denver.

How do you guys make it work?

DON: We share everything, pretty much. It used to be that Mik did most of the driving. Then we hired Kurt, our other sound guy. He was the driving machine, so Mik and I would spend the day getting drunk (laughs) We’d get to the gig so fuckin’ drunk…or at least I was so fucked up that half of the time we wouldn’t get anything done. Now we share everything. It’s just, going, playing and kicking ass. You’ve got to go out there and say, “fuck you”. You’ve got to show people. We’re not fuckin’ doing this as a fluke.

Let’s talk about your audience. Your audiences are a lot more rowdy than other band’s audience. Especially the women. Tell me about them.

DON: Most of the ones Mik hasn’t slept with, Nate and myself have (laughs)

Nate, how soon after you joined the BRETHREN FAST did you get laid?

NATE: I wasn’t even in the band yet actually (laughter around the room) I played half the night with these guys and I got laid immediately afterwards.

DON: And weren’t those the biggest tittys you’ve ever seen in your life?

NATE: Those were the biggest tits I’ve ever touched or fondled in my adult life.

How often do you get laid now?

MIK: He’s married now.

You’re married?

NATE: Yeah. The way I figure it is sex makes you happy and if you’re happy you can play better (laughs)

Do any of you get tired of drunk people at your shows?

DON: No because we’re always drunk (laughs)

MIK: Them’s are our friends

How did it start that your audience got up on stage and dancing?

DON: It was Mik (laughs) they see him up there doing his little shuffle, Donald Duck dumb fuckin’ walk on the bass. He’s like, “Get some booty on up here”. So it was Mik that started that whole deal.

How did the Bud sponsorship come about?

DON: We were just lucky. We’re not Bud’ corporate. We’re just Bud’ out of Denver distribution, so we’re limited. But they’ve pulled a lot of strings to keep us going. They help out a lot.

OK, let me ask you some pussy getting questions. These require a little thinking and sensitivity. Women love this stuff. Catalina, from Denver Music Plus will ask you all 5 questions. Answer these, knowing woman are reading this.

CATALINA: What one thing in your life would you most want to forget?

DON: The Avalanche game (laughs)

MIK: I know which one you’re talkin about Don…uh if I could forget one thing? Like…does this have to be a sex type of question?

You can answer it any way you want

MIK: Boy…I don’t know

NATE: Ummm…One thing I could forget? If I could forget what it’s like to be lonely

Ohhh, that’s so sweet (laughter)

MIK: Oh yeah, I like that. You’re gonna get laid with that answer (laughs)

CATALINA: If you were gonna be the opposite sex for an entire day, what would you do?

DON: I’d fuck as many guys as I could (laughs)

MIK: I’d get fucked. (Laughs) I’d get fucked all day long.

NATE: If I could be a woman for a day. First off, I’d take a hot bath. Then I’d probably shave my legs (laughs) Then I’d probably paint my fingernails and toenails, get my hair done, then go out for a night on the town with the girls. (Laughs)

MIK: With the girls?

NATE: I’d be a lesbian (much laughter)

I think Nate is ahead

CATALINA: If you could sleep with any famous couple who would you choose?

DON: I’m thinking maybe Ronald Reagan and his wife (laughs)

MIK: Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson

NATE: Probably Ellen and her girlfriend, Ann. Cusz Ellen has got some big titties.

CATALINA: If you had to name a person you know, who is the easiest to seduce, who would it be and why?

NATE: My girlfriend. Why? Because she’s probably madly in love with me or something.

You’re sweet. I think I’m falling in love with you

NATE: Oh no. Maris says he thinks he’s falling in love with me (laughs)

MIK: (Thinking) Boy, I don’t know. I’m gonna have to skip

DON: The easiest to seduce would be my dog Snapper (laughter)

CATALINA: If you had to describe what a feminist is, in one sentence, what would your response be?

NATE: A woman who feels the need to describe her power as a woman

MIK: I agree with Nate (much laughter around the room) I’m tryin’ to get help. I’m just gonna agree with whatever Nate says from now on (more laughter)

DON: I don’t need a sentence. I can do it in two words: Ann Murray

Final words! Is there anything you’d like to say to your fans?

DON: God bless ‘em. That’s all I can say. It’s weird. I’ve seen people that I’ve seen six years ago at our shows. We’re lucky. We’re damn lucky to have the fans that we do. And to play as much as we do is great. There is no other band that plays as much as we do and still draws like we do. I don’t understand it. It just amazes me. Our biggest fans are The Brethren Mafia. It’s a bunch of guys and a couple of chicks. They come to like, 90% of the shows in Denver and the Springs and shit. Those people have got to get the Brethren fix. Those people are fuckin’ cool. We’d do anything for them, as well as any other fan.

MIK: Our fans are gold. Their priceless, you can’t even put a price on ‘em. We’re fortunate to have ‘em. They’ve helped us the whole way.

DON: And even though they don’t like Nate, I think they’re good people (Laughter)

NATE: All kidding aside, I love playing with the BRETHREN FAST. I feel lucky to be part of such a good band. I want to bring as much as I can to the table. Try as much as I can to bring us to the next level. These guys are great guys. I love working with them. I’ve never been in a band where I have so much creative freedom…. And the fans are the shit!