Is it true that the band began in a Christian, youth center?

Aaron: (Laughs) Yeah, but to be honest, it was more agnostic, atheist and pagan people than anything else. It was a weird mix, but it was also just a cool place to shoot pool, listen to bands, get cheap soda and get lots of girls. We got laid a lot, as a result of going there. It was a very decadent youth group (laughs). In fact, we came up with a name for the place. We called it “Tuesday nights at your moms” (Laughs). They would let us get away with stuff that a lot of Christians normally wouldn’t let you get away with. We even went to bible studies and shit. We’re all basically atheists, so we’d go and argue about God not existing and they thought it was awesome that we’d do that. So, anyway, a couple of guys approached me and said, “Hey, I heard you play bass.” They were forming a band, so that lead to the beginning of the group. The first lineup featured me on bass, a guy named Brandon on drums, Worm on guitar and a guy named Adrian on lead vocals. He kept missing practices, so we had to kick him out. I moved to vocals and that’s when Logan joined.

Logan: Worm left the band right before we went out on tour. His real name was Brian Lukehart, but he was called “The Worm.” He left because he just wasn’t into it. The night before we returned from tour, we found out he had died of a heroin overdose. As we were driving, we got the call. We were on the phone, all excited, like, “Yeah, we just had the time of our lives! We’ve been getting drunk, slapping bitches butts…”. And our friends were like, “Oh…well…Worm died of a heroin overdose.” We were stunned. It totally killed the entire tour. We were all so shut down.

Aaron: We had a guitarist named Stagg. He joined while Worm was still in the band. For awhile, we had two guitarists. After Worm left, he stayed on and we were a four-piece for awhile. He eventually began to lose interest though and started flaking out. He really wanted to make money with the band. All we wanted to do was have fun, drink and chase girls. That wasn’t really his thing.

Logan: Stagg and I wrote a lot of the music together. Most of the songs on Psychobabble were actually written by Stagg. We give him a lot of credit for that. He was real bad-assed and it sucked to see him go.

There are some mortals who think the Stagg years were Forth Yeer Freshman’s best years

Logan: Fuck those people right in the ear (laughs). We’re bad-assed and way better than we’ve ever been. We’ve been fortunate enough to have some cool people in our band. Brandon had to leave the band too. He now lives in Florida. He was really good and contributed to the music a lot.

Aaron: It sucked when other members flaked out and we were in the process of losing them. It’s been a long struggle to get to the point we are now. However, we are also the best we’ve ever been right now. We’re finally getting some nationwide recognition. We recently got voted “Best Hardcore band in Colorado” by Marquee magazine.

Logan: Except… we’re not a Hardcore band (Laughs).

Tay: I don’t even like Hardcore.

In this day and age of Hatebreed-sounding bands, such a mortal statement is rather bold..

Tay: I like Rock and Roll. I listen to stuff like Rose Tattoo, AC/DC, Nashville Pussy. I like Rock a Billy. To me, music is about having a good time. Hardcore seems to always be so serious.

I saw you once putting on an Iron Maiden album. Do you find such a mortal band acceptable?

Tay: Oh yeah. I love Iron Maiden. I’m Indian, I have to like Iron Maiden (laughs).

Ty: I love Hardcore. I love old school New York Hardcore. Cro Mags, Suicidal Tendencies, Murphy’s Law.

If you could be in one of those bands, which one would you choose?

Ty: Oh, definitely Cro Mags, back in 1985. They were crazy back then, living on the streets, doing drugs and going fuckin’ crazy. They really lived the Hardcore life. They came out of a place and scene where there was no hope. It’s the same scene that gave birth to Hip Hop. That era of New York City is just classic.

What kind of music is Forth Yeer Freshman?

Tay: Rock and Roll devil music.

What exactly is that, mortal?

Tay: What you believe would be the most offensive to your parents, is what we are. Rock and roll is supposed to be stuff your parents wouldn’t want you listening to. The true embodiment of what Rock and Roll is supposed to be horrible, evil, loud stuff that your parents hate. Kill your parents, shoot up your high school.

Yes, but if someone had never heard Forth Yeer Freshman, they might assume you were a Pop Punk band, just by hearing your name.

Aaron: Ironically, we were only going to use the name at our first show and then change it. Our first show was at the youth center and Forth Yeer Freshman was the least offensive name we could come up with. The problem is, that show was huge and word about us spread quickly. As a result, we became unable to change the name. We actually talked about changing it for a long time, but people would say, “Don’t change your name, it’s who you are.” I always felt our name made us sound like a Pop Punk band too, but that’s also kind of cool. You think you’re gonna hear one kind of music and then it turns out we’re something completely different.

You changed your musical style many times over the years. Give me a summary after the fact.

Aaron: The first thing we did was just like a demo. That was back in ’97. That was just three chord Punk Rock, reminiscent of The Nobodies and shit like that. Our singer at the time was really into The Nobodys. It was bland, generic, Punk Rock. Then he left the band and we recorded our first full length in ’98 called Forth Yeer Freshman Hate Everyone, Even You. That was was the first with me singing and it was much more Oi influenced. Next was the So Punk It Hurts. That was a seven inch and was us starting to get dirtier, but still humorous. The cover had a picture of me smashing my dick with a hammer.

Gasp! It is not a good thing to damage your wee wee. I might have plans of my own for it!

Aaron: Next was Drunkinomicon, which was real…I hate that fuckin album (laughs). Some people love it though. I was snorting a lot of Ritalin at the time, listening to a lot of crappy Grind and Crust music, so I was trying to make it all screamy and dark. It just ended up sounding really stupid. Then was The Turd EP, which was our first, quality recording. We made only 500 copies and gave them away to all of our friends and fans – so it’s rare. There’s a lot of stupid songs on that one, but pretty fun. Then was our most recent one Psychobabble. We were listening to a lot more Hardcore with this one. We were listening to a lot of SOD and Gwar. We chunked it up a bit and made it a little heavier.

And now you are Rock and Roll Devil’s music. What was the main impetus that brought you to this mortal style of music?

Aaron: Progression. We’re not a shitty, Punk rock band anymore. We’ve all progressed as musicians and gotten a lot better. We’ve all gotten more into the dirty, scumbag, rock and roll lifestyle. When you’re young, you have different interests at different times. Your tastes evolve.

The one thing that seems to have always been present in your songs is a wacky sense of humor. Where do you get your ideas?

Aaron: Usually we’ll be driving around in the van or sitting around drinking and someone will say something really funny. Right now, we’re thinking about writing a song about boning ugly chicks called “I Want A Ten, But I’ll Settle For Two Fives” (Everybody laughs). That’s sure to be a hit.

Is such a tune inspired by your vagina loving guitarist Jerry?

Jerry: (Laughs) Well as a matter of fact, my cock has seen a pussy or two, in it’s day. Every once in awhile, I’ll fuck a fat chick. Last night, as a matter of fact, I went home with this one chick. She wasn’t ugly though. She would be pretty if she wasn’t fat. But then again, she wasn’t always fat. I’ve done her before she was fat. What usually happens is Aaron will write a song and I will say it’s too faggoty. I will write a song and Aaron will say it’s too offensive. A lot of songs go out the door that way.

Aaron: I have a pretty tasteless sense of humor, but Jerry takes it to a level that’s like…people showing up on our doorsteps with torches and pitchforks wanting to burn us alive (everybody laughs). We basically take a good, Jerry concept and make it a little whittier, because basically Jerry is illiterate and doesn’t read (more laughter).

Is “Spike: Portrait of a Canine Bigot” about Jerry’s dog?

Aaron: That’s one of our newer songs, but yeah, it’s about Jerry’s dog. He grew up in Littleton. When we moved to Five Points ( A historical neighborhood in Denver, prominently populated by African American mortals – Ed..) He would lunge and bark at anyone that was black. Jerry started singing the melody one day and came up with the lyrics “Spike you are a noble dog, but I can’t take you to 7-11. Because if I tie you up, you might bite an African American.” (Laughs). It cracked me the fuck up, so I wrote an entire song about it, brought it to the guys and it became one of our better songs.

What about “Hungry For Your Butt?”

Tay: That song is self-explanatory. We all love licking girl’s buttholes.

Logan: A couple of summers ago, we were all talking about this one girl we very much wanted to fondle. One of us said how much they were hungry for her butt. That’s where the idea came from

Have any of you ever had a female mortal perform analingus on you?

Logan: Oh, hell yeah.

Do you have a hairy buttocks…or is it smooth

Logan: Well, I’d have to get a mirror, but I’d be willing to bet it’s hairy.

How alluring.

Jerry: Yeah, I’ve had girls lick my ass too.

Ty: I have performed the act, but never had it done to me

Aaron: I’d never let a girl lick my asshole. I wouldn’t be able to talk to her afterwards.

Tay: I’ve never let a girl lick my asshole either.

Why not?

Tay: Have you ever seen my asshole?

No…have you?

Tay: No…and neither has toilet paper or soap (everyone laughs)

So, historically speaking, right after Aaron and Logan, your drummer Ty is the next, longest-staying member in the band. How did this come to pass?

Ty: I joined the band when Brandon left. I was in a band called Home of The Brave. Forth Yeer didn’t know if they were going to stay together or break up. They were going through a lot of changes. Home of The Brave had played shows with them and another band I was in, MWA, even opened for them years ago. We’ve all been friends for basically all our lives, so when I found out they needed a drummer, I said “Let’s do it!”

You know, you’re kind of cute and tasty – like a little piece of pie. I think I’ll call you Ty Pie from now on. How big is your wee wee Ty Pie?

Ty Pie: (Laughs) Um….probably seven inches.

Oooh, how alluring. Where is the most unusual place you’ve ever masturbated?

Ty Pie: At my job, in the bathroom.

Oooh, sizzle!…So, Tay and Jerry were next to join, in late 2004. How did this come to pass?

Aaron: Well, originally, Tay was only going to be a fill in. We were going to replace Stagg with Jerry and my brother. Tay already had his own band with The STDs. So, he was only going to be a fill in. My brother didn’t really work out and Tay is so amazing, that we really wanted him in the band.

How is it that you are in two bands? You know this means you will die twice!

Tay: We all kind of mix together. We are all gross, toilet-humor assholes. We’re all alcoholics. The chemistry works.

Logan: Tay is a kick-ass guitar player. When we took him on, we didn’t know if he was going to work out, but then he made some poop jokes, so we we were like “all right!” (Laughs)

Tay: They thought they were auditioning me, but the truth is I was the one auditioning them (Laughs). I’m still not sure if I want to be in the band (Laughs)

Aaron: Tay is a fuckin’ perfectionist, so the song-writing process takes longer.

Tay: The interesting thing about the group is when I came in, they never argued about songs. Someone would write a song and everyone would learn it. Now we argue a lot about songs – which is good. It means that songs are being worked out and becoming better. We are currently working on our next album, which will be out by St. Patrick’s Day. It’s going to be the greatest thing we’ve ever done. It’s going to be better than Led Zeppelin Two, better than Licensed To Ill, better than Back In Black…(laughs).

That brings us to the one and only Jerry. Your reputation precedes you. I actually know more about your wee wee than I do you.

Jerry: (Laughs) My penis is another member of the band. It gets us booked, gets us all sorts of things

Aaron: Jerry dick is some kind of petri dish. They’re going to name a disease after Jerry, one day (Laughs). I mean, he can say just about anything to a girl and she’ll end up fucking him.

Ok…just to be fair, let me ask about the music first and then I’ll get to the good stuff. How did you get into playing guitar?

Jerry: Well, my Mom played guitar. She played folk guitar. She didn’t necessarily encourage me to play, it just kind of happened. My cousin, Craig taught me basics. I actually quit for awhile. I was the bassist in Total Annihilation years ago, before Jimmy was in the band. I also played in Arch Nemesis for awhile too. So, I then went on…

Enough about music! Let’s talk about your genitalia. So, let’s start with your testicles. What do you have to say about them?

Jerry: Well…their huge.

Do you like the way they hang?

Jerry: I haven’t had a complaint yet.

How large is your wee wee when it’s erect?

Jerry: Seven and three fourths inches.

Ooooh, yummy. Is it straight when it’s erect?…or does it have a bend to it?

Jerry: It’s pretty much straight. It’s a little to the left. I hang a little to the left.

You are unfortunately known for your disgusting habit of acquiring abundant, female companionship. Tell me a classic, Jerry story

Jerry: Once we were on tour and we were in Jacksonville Florida. We were staying at this girl’s house and her girlfriend came over. The girl we were staying with gave me this other girls number, so I called her up. I said “Hey, I’m the guy that was sitting on the couch of the house you were just at. I want you inside of me.” And it worked!

Such an approach worked?!?

Aaron: He always has stuff like that happen to him. Of course, that particular girl was as smart as a sack of mud(Laughter)

Is this mortal always so successful?

Aaron: No, but the thing is, Jerry is one of the most persistent guys I know. He will will go through 100 women and be said “no” to by 99 of them, just so he can score with one (laughs).

If at first you don’t succeed…?

Aaron: At least he has his priorities straight

You shall tell me about one of your less than successful attempts at acquiring vagina

Jerry: Well, there was this other time that I fell asleep on Tay’s floor after a night of partying. When I woke up, there was this girl sleeping there on the floor, about six or seven feet away from me. It’s like four or five in the morning and I’m still drunk. I wake up and I’m like, “Oh shit, there’s a vagina within reach of me (laughs).” So, I scoot my little blanket over to where she is sleeping and lay down next to her. Girls sometimes do this thing when they’re sleeping, where they automatically cuddle if someone is laying up against them. So, she started doing that and I’m like, “Cool, she’s down to fuck!” But she was still somewhat asleep. So, I’m kind of grabbing on her boobies and I slide my hand down the front of her pants and she wakes up and yells “what the fuck!” And I’m like, “Oh I’m sorry, I thought you were asleep.” (Everybody laughs)

If you could assign a personality to Jerry’s wee wee, how would you describe it?

Logan: Jerry’s dick has the personality of a gold fish.

Why do you say such a thing?

Logan: Because it just kind of flops around and has no attention span…just like it’s owner (more laughter)