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The Final Interview of Skyfox

The only question worth asking you, is...why are you a virgin?

Johnny: I decided it was worth saving for one person. People have made sex into a very common thing. I'd prefer to keep it as a special thing for the one girl I end up with...

That sound you hear is the sound of my eyes rolling.

Johnny: I want her to know she's worth it. Although, I've heard if you re Mormon, you can do it in the butt and still be a virgin (laughs)

I hate to break it to you, but waiting as you are will lead you to a major disappointment. Vaginas are horrific.

Johnny: Mormonism then?

I'll be Mormon for you

Johnny: "More Man?" (laughs). So, what's so terrible about the "not-brown-hole?!" I must know.

Well...for starters, vaginas look like a hatchet wound. It looks like something perfectly normal was growing there, but then got hacked off.

Johnny: I heard that might have happened to Jeffree Star.

Speaking of Jeffree, why did Skyfox choose their genre of music, instead of a musical genre, similar to hers?

Johnny: Cuz that's all I could play when I started (not too long ago). (Laughs) So much of our roots are in music like Blink' ...etc. But as we learn, we want to make fancier music! We want to progress and really find "our sound." We may not ever sound like Jefree though. Don't think I could trade my sac for a synth. don't think the sound you have now is...THEE sound?

Johnny: It's definitely on it's way. We're always learning new things.

Well, your sound definitely got you signed. How did that come about?

Johnny: We were hanging around The Gothic Theater during Bowling For Soup's load in. TP and Matt hand Jaret a demo of ours and he liked it. We stayed in touch and when he started Crappy Records, he invited us on!

I was at that show! How is it such an outrage occurred with out me knowing it?!

Johnny: Because you were busy killing Army Of Freshmen.

You are indeed slippery! So, how did your slippery little band come together in the first place?

Johnny: I always wanted to have a band, but didn't know anyone that played. I would ask random people. First, I saw Matt at a music placement test (which I failed miserably). He had long, sensual fingers, that led me to believe he might play the ass. He said he did, so I got his number. BTW, I'm wearing a shirt that says "he is gay" and has an arrow pointing to TP as I'm walking down the Hollywood Blvd strip. Thought you might enjoy that.

I do! Have you ever seen TP's genitalia?

Johnny: No. But it's good to have a member that plays hard to get. His milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. They want him, but they can't have him!

Being he's so stingy, what does he bring to the band?

Johnny: TP contributes musically. He really is an amazing musician. We're lucky to have him with us. Even though he won't share his wee wee willingly, he definitely makes up for it musically.

What about the other guys?

Johnny: Matt: Matt has this tall, handsome thing going on. He also has fingers that go on for miles. And Mauricio has been a friend of ours forever. He's fairly good at every instrument and we needed a second guitar player, so he was a good choice. He's just not that into guitar. It's a bummer.

What was the song and video for Run Away about?

Johnny: A really good friend of mine got heavy into drugs. Run Away is about him getting the fuck out of Denver and starting over.

Is the guy in the video the friend you speak of?

Johnny: He actually is! We shot that about a week after he got back here.

What kind of drugs was he into?

Johnny: He is an encyclopedia! He's done everything in about every variation. More than anything though, he was addicted to meth.

God, I love meth addicts. It's so easy to get into their pants.

Johnny: There's quite a bit of truth to that! One of the dudes he was getting it from had a butt plug the size of a road cone in his closet. I think it was there to scare the casual user away.

Do you have his number?

Johnny: After my friend cleaned up, he helped a bunch of other kids clean up too. I think he kinda wants to be a mentor and help other kids. He's applied to a few places, and ironically, since he's actually qualified to help people, he can't, because he's "qualified." People are silly.

Don't get me started about mortals and their silly rules. Do you have a full-length out as of yet?

Johnny: Just an E.P. We are working on the fan base a bit before we put out an LP. But we are writing some cool, new shit, so we will be ready when the time comes.

And your tour plans?

Johnny: Possibly in January. We will at least be doing weekend shows, out of town. We would like to tour, but we're still looking for the right situation.

And finally, what is your dream?

Johnny: I have a lot to say and Skyfox is a medium to express what I feel. I hope enough people can relate. I'd like to take this as far as it can go. More than anything, this feels like what I'm supposed to be doing with my life right now.