Were you with the band from the beginning, Steven?

Steven: Yep, since day one. Krysta, John, and I are the only “original” members.

How did it begin?

Steven: The three of us lived together and had just gotten out of our previous bands. We were all sort of sick of dealing with band shit for awhile. But then, of course we couldn’t resist and started working on the songs that ended up on our first EP. Basically, Krysta and John were drunk and talked me into it… bastards (laughs).

This was in Louisiana?

Steven: Ruston, Louisiana, in a shitty rental house

What’s it like there?

Steven: It’s a college town… but a super small and shitty one. There’s nothing to do but hang out with friends and find trouble to get into …and of course play music

What’s the music scene like?

Steven: Completely non-existent. John and I are originally from about an hour from Ruston; a city called Shreveport. It has one, all-ages venue, but the shows there are pretty small and tragic.

If there wasn’t a scene to grow in, how were you able to blossom into an effective band?

Steven: Well, Krysta is from Long Island, NY, so she grew up in an awesome scene. But I think the fact the rest of us are from shitty, small towns, really pushed us to get out and play music for people around the world.

How soon after the band formed, did you get signed?

Steven: I think it was a little over a year.

That’s not very long at all. Was that always part of the plan?

Steven. The plan was just to make some music in my bedroom and see what happened. Then we immediately booked a DIY tour, quit our jobs and it just kept snowballing. The shows got better and then labels started hitting us up…and managers.. and booking. I suppose we were fortunate enough to build sorta grassroots style – not just internet hype or something, but we had that too. So all of it helped of course

Why did you go with Century Media?

Steven: They just wanted to give us some cash to make whatever music we wanted

Did they ever express skepticism toward your approach to Metal?

Steven: Nope. Century Media doesn’t give a flying fuck what we do and we love ’em for it

Your band takes things in a completely different direction than a lot of Metal bands. What served as your influence?

Steven: We all love every style of music. Plus, the initial idea of the band was NO limitations. We wanted to play whatever we wanted, without pressure to conform to any Metal standards of what’s normal or “brootal.”

But isn’t that a risky way of trying to find an audience?

Steven: I think when you’re doing something different, you’re always going to get more attention – both good and bad. But the fact that Krysta is a girl that can destroy most Metal dudes, was one way we stuck out and helped us.

Tell me about the bad…

Steven: The only bad reactions we seem to get, are from close-minded folks who just want one thing over and over “STICK TO THE SCREAMING, YOU PUSSIES,” or even people who like our slower / jazzier / whatever parts and wish we’d ditch the Metal altogether. The best review we ever got, was on a Metal site where someone wrote “METAL JUST GOT GAY” – saying our soft parts were ruining the Metal. So we printed that in rainbow foil on a t-shirt and started selling it, to mock them. It’s now our best selling shirt of all time. We made the shirt to fuck with close-minded, homophobic idiots.

That’s one of my favorite past times! Have you ever received a homophobic reaction to the shirt?

Steven: All the time! Closed-minded idiots are everywhere (laughs).

Aren’t Krysta’s siblings gay?

Steven: Yes, both of them are. Her sister was actually filling in on guitar for us, for a few months.

She’s a musician?

Steven: She’s an amazing trumpet player and guitarist

Where did the lighted rainbow come from, that you (sometimes) have on stage with you?

Steven: It was just an idea to fuck with people even more. Plus, we like bright shiny things (laughs). We had it made by a dude in Texas that builds lighting props for bands. He normally makes stuff like skulls and brutal things (laughs).

I once killed Horse The Band. I know you toured with them. They play weird Metal too. What was it like playing with them?

Steven: They’re awesome! They’re completely out of their fucking minds and it is amazing! They are one of our favorite bands to tour with. We lived on a bus with them in Europe for a month. We almost died (laughs).

Would you ever do an “Earth Tour,” like they have?

Steven: No fucking way (much laughter). If someone else booked it, yes, but no one would. From everything they said, it was such a massive undertaking, that I wouldn’t want to deal with all that stress and work.

They told me how they have had their share of bands treating them like shit, because they are “out there.” Have you guys ever been treated like shit, by bands that didn’t “get you?”

Steven: Definitely, but I think we are a bit more “Metal” then they are, during our heavy parts, so I think the brutal dudes cut us a little more slack.. Also, we don’t give a flying fuck about people who want to be dramatic douchebags. We like to spread fun times, make friends and fucking hang out. Why waste time with people who suck?

Speaking of sucking. I want to know about your penis…

Steven: It’s nine inches soft and I prefer sex with a flaccid wang.

Are you cut or uncut?

Steven: My parents are Irish immigrants, so uncut.. Circumcision is fucking terrible. Why would you wanna cut part of your kid’s dick off and make sex less pleasurable for them? America is ass backwards.

But when I’ve blown uncut male mortals, I found the head of their dong was actually too sensitive. Have you had that problem?

Steven: (Laughs) Nope… and all studies show that uncut guys last longer and get more pleasure. It’s a win win

When you are erect, does the entire head poke out? Or…are you HEAVILY skinned?

Steven: (Laughs) Entire head.

That’s nice. I’ve found you straight male mortals also like to shave off your pubic hair. Do you shave?

Steven: (Laughs) For the most part, yes.

Why?

Steven: Looks better. Feels better.

But don’t you think it makes you look like you’re a 12 year old boy?

Steven: Oh I’ve got plenty of hair all around to make it clear that I’m old and gross. I can’t wait to send my Mom a link to this interview! (Laughs).