“THE F-UPS were the first, national band I ever killed. They had just signed to a major label and were on tour, when they met me. My friend Donovan Welsh (Animo/Dork) set it up.
The band was very easy going. We hit it off immediately. That really helped me relax, because initially, I was uncomfortable at the prospect of NOT killing a local, Denver band. The pics turned out well and I became friends with the lead singer for quite a while. Killing a national group changed everything for me. It was as if a giant, cosmic doorway had been opened. The word apparently got out about me, because suddenly, I had bands from all over the world contacting me, with the wish to die. It was time to up my game a bit and embrace this new, killing spree opportunity.”
~Maris The Great
THE DEMISE OF THE F-UPS
“The first time My Greatness became aware of The F-Ups, I licked my lips with hungry anticipation. Visions filled my rotting brain of a delectable, veal dinner, the feast a tender treat with the members of the Minnesota-based foursome being a mere 18 years old. I’ve come to discover the real meat of the group isn’t necessarily their tasty young flesh. As a musical unit, The F-Ups are a complete meal. A spin through their eponymous debut album finds twelve tracks replete with catchy hooks, fist-pumping teen adrenaline and just enough Punk spit to make it all believable, feisty and fun. The energy translates to the stage as well, where the group proves to be a boisterous live act – one that shines with the musical skill and showmanship of a big league band. It’s a far cry from where it all began. Formed in 2000, long time friends Travis Allen, Taylor Nogo, Andy Collett and Chris deWerd started their musical journey under a different band moniker and as a much less memorable and far more pop-laden outfit. Playing everywhere from pool halls to skate parks built them a notable following, but it wasn’t until their level of professional commitment (and ultimately their band name) changed that the wheels of fortune began to turn in their direction. A “Battle of the Bands” contest won in 2002 set into motion a series of events that led their demo into the hands of impressed Capital records executives. As the legend goes, the label offered the band a contract forty-five minutes after hearing the group’s tunes. The F-Ups accepted the deal and immediately went from playing makeshift concert venues in Rochester to performing along side legendary idols Bad Religion and NoFX on the 2004 Vans Warped Tour. With a critically acclaimed album in tow, the band utilized the experience to gain massive exposure, if not records sales. Now intent on keeping their full-throttle rock and roll show on the road well into 2005, the band members have made touring their new way of life. With a rapidly, growing, world-wide fan base nipping at their heels every stop along the way, these four, veal mortals have success written all over them and no place to go…but up.
Which is why I had to kill them.
You see, while it is true that The F-Ups appear to be living a charmed life, it is also true that their non stop road jaunt must eventually bring them through the zombie-infested waters of Denver, Colorado where I lie in wait. It is in one such visit that I managed to sink my claws into the F-Ups, culminating in a sumptuous, veal dinner for my Greatness.
Here is the last interview given by the F-Ups as living, breathing mortals.“
~Maris The Great
THE F-UPS FINAL INTERVIEW
From L-R – Taylor, Chris, Travis and Andy
It is I, Maris The Great! Behold, my magnificence will now address your veal, mortal inferiority with a line of questioning of which you shall answer me with the truth. The first question that has been bugging me for the longest time is your band’s name. Is it spelled the way it is due to censorship?
TRAVIS: Actually, our name was originally Mr. Completely. We were like, 14 years old and the music was really, cheesy, Pop Punk…
Your music is cheesy Pop Punk now, mohawked mortal!
TRAVIS: Yeah, but this stuff was really corny, “all about my girlfriend, waaaa, waaa, waaa” kind of stuff. We kind of wanted to get away from that, so we told everyone we broke up as a band. When the news came out that we were getting signed, it was as The F-Ups. We changed our name so we could start fresh with our current music. Originally, it was going to be The Fuckups but…
Your mortal label made you change it…I KNEW it!
TRAVIS: No, it wasn’t Capital. In fact, Andy Slater, the president of Capital wanted us to be The Fuckups. He still asks us whenever he see us…”are you sure you’re OK with The F-Ups?” It was actually the lawyers that told us we needed to go with The F-Ups.
CHRIS: There’s another band in Norway already called The Fuck Ups. Since our music is going to be sent over there, we thought it was best to go with The F-Ups.
TAYLOR: Andy and I met each other in Junior High School. We were always saying we wanted to start a band. I knew Travis from 7th grade.
TRAVIS: I knew Chris in kindergarten.
TAYLOR: We all just hooked up and I said “hey, we should jam at my house” So we started….
Allow me to interrupt for a moment….Since you’ve know each other for such a long time, you must have seen each other’s wee wees. Who has the most impressive member?
TAYLOR: I personally haven’t seen any of the guys wieners, but I’m pretty sure they’ve seen mine. I’m the one that gets naked the most.
Ooooh, sizzle!…So what’s your wiener like?
TAYLOR: Well, I like to shave…
But you have pubic hair now. I saw it when you showed me your “mangina” (Taylor has the amusing habit of pulling down his pants, tucking his genitals between his legs to simulate a vagina).
TAYLOR: Yeah, well I’ve been on the road for awhile so…(laughs)
Your bio says the best pick up line you ever used was…”Hi, my name is Taylor, want to fuck?” Did that really happen?
TAYLOR: Yeah! (Laughs)
Did it work?
TAYLOR: Yeah! (Laughs) If they know I’m in a band, stuff like that works, but if they don’t know I’m in a band it usually doesn’t (more laughter).
TAYLOR: We practiced and practiced for a battle of the bands event in middle school, but decided we wanted to take it further. So we practiced through the summer. Eventually, we hooked up shows in Rochester with other bands. We kept at it and eventually got better at playing our instruments.
What’s the scene like in Rochester?
ANDY: There are a lot of bands, but no place to play. When we first started playing, we played in a pool hall. We got to take half of the door (money) and mop the floor when we were done. We had to move pool tables out of the way. That place eventually got closed down because the fire code allowed 49 people and we were packing in 250. So then the shows moved to a skate park, but now they’re getting in trouble with the cops so it’s getting all shut down.
Well, now you play all over the world. How did your record deal come about?
CHRIS: We just got really lucky. We won a battle of the bands contest in Minnesota. We got to headline a show with this big band in Minnesota called Flipp.
TRAVIS: They’re great. They are like KISS meets Cheap Trick/David Bowie/AC-DC.
CHRIS: We ended up hanging out with the singer of the band. His name is Brynn. He ended up producing our album. He then went to Hollywood and brought it to Capital. He brought it in the day they were having their “who are we going to sign this month” meeting (laughs). 45 minutes later they called us.
45 MINUTES?!? What was your reaction?
CHRIS: You know what’s funny? when we got the call, I had just had my wisdom teeth pulled. I didn’t even know what was going on. Travis came and told me and I went to bed (laughs). I got signed to Capital and didn’t even know what was going on! (more laughter)
TRAVIS: I was shitting bricks! (Laughs). It was really exciting, but at the same time we weren’t going to let it go to our heads because you never know for sure. The music business is about as stable as a junkie.
ANDY: Chris got laid (laughter)
TRAVIS: After we signed the paper, I think it was actually going out to L.A. and meeting the people at Capital. It was nice to find out not everyone there was a “suit.”
Labels have a reputation as the devil.
TRAVIS: I thought that too initially. I was shocked to find out that wasn’t so. I mean, there are wolves everywhere – some of them hide themselves pretty well. Even though I’m young, I just didn’t pick that up from Capital or any of the other people we’ve met so far.
How do you guys keep your heads screwed on straight?
ANDY: I hang out with the guys a lot and that keeps everything real. Also, I stay away from hookers and blow (Laughs).
TAYLOR: We talk to each other about our problems and whose ego is getting big this month.
TRAVIS: We’ve always been so close. When we met in school we were kind of outcasts. We’ve almost been like brothers for the last four years. We get in our stupid fights, but nothing big. Chris and I once got in a fight over a contract rider, but that’s only because we always bitch at each other for the first 20 minutes we are awake.
CHRIS: We talk to each other all the time. Whenever one of us gets cocky, then everyone gets mad and has to talk to him. But there is nothing to stress about. We are having so much fun. The only thing to stress about is girls. (laughs)
TRAVIS: I also try to keep in touch with my family. Being away from them is hard. But other than that, there’s very little stress in the band. I mean, waking up in a new city everyday and meeting new people is fun. We’re taking this one day at a time.
TAYLOR: The only thing I stress about is waking up at 6:00 AM in the morning, waiting in the hotel lobby for our tour manager to come down, all so I can get back in the van and go back to sleep.
ANDY: The only thing I stress about is wondering when Travis is going to wash his laundry.
If you were gay, who in the band would you find hot?
TRAVIS: Andy.
Why?
TRAVIS: Because when he wears his girl pants he has a speed bump. (Laughs)
TAYLOR: But wait a minute, I’ve got girl pants too.
TRAVIS: Yeah, but you don’t have a speed bump. (Much laughter)
Tell me what went into the making of your debut album.
ANDY: Well…a lot of plastic went into the making of it. That and a lot of ink and a couple of bar codes
TAYLOR: The whole experience was a lot of fun. It was interesting to go to a professional, recording studio every, single day and go through the whole process. We would do drums first and then move onto bass…etc. I finished up my drum tracks in the first week of recording, so I mostly sat there and did nothing. I watched the guys do all their parts. It’s awesome how much goes into making songs.
How much did the songs change from the way you wrote them and the finished, recorded version?
TRAVIS: They changed some – but for the better. For instance, a song like “Screw You” needed to change. We changed some of the lyrics, we added some gang vocals. I’ve always been into gang vocals since listening to bands like A.F.I. and Rancid.
TRAVIS: Not more than what was needed. We actually got to pick out what we wanted to do, production-wise. Brynn is a first-time producer. He is very proud of this record. It’s his first one – it’s his baby.
ANDY: He helped us out more than just in the studio. He would regularly meet with us, share ideas and together, we made the songs better. When we went in the studio, we just finalized everything.
TAYLOR: He helped us move a level up as musicians. Also, he helped our showmanship. He helped us move around more and put on a great show.
What’s the creative process like for writing new songs?
TRAVIS: I do all the writing as of right now. What usually happens is I come up with an idea and start playing it at practice. Taylor will start adding to it and then those two fuckheads will come back in after they’re done with their cigarettes and plunk along. That’s how we get it started. I usually build my songs around a chorus.
So give me a summary after the fact of The Warped Tour
CHRIS: It was a lot of work, but there were so many bands doing so much more work than we had to do. One of the hardest working bands on the whole tour was D.O.R.K.
That’s because I previously killed them. The undead are scrappy.
TRAVIS: They did more work than anyone. They’re really cool. Also, the crew there (at The Warped Tour) are amazing.
CHRIS: Some of the bands had been there for awhile, knew what was going on and were really nice about it, but some of the bands – I don’t know if they had ever been there before- but possibly weren’t as nice as they could be. We didn’t get to meet most of them because they would just sit in their buses.
TRAVIS: The Warped Tour was hot. It was fuckin’ hot all the time. However, the experience overall was great. We really got tight. It really helped us get better as a band. The Warped Tour is like a Punk Rock boot camp. It’s bare bones for the most part, but really cool. All the bands we met on the small stages were great. The bigger bands were cool too, but I had so much more fun talking to bands like D.O.R.K., because their still real. They haven’t sold a million records, so they don’t have to walk around like their shit doesn’t stink.
CHRIS: My shit doesn’t stink.
TAYLOR: Yeah, Chris’s shit doesn’t stink because he’s too pretty. (Laughs) No…The Warped Tour really helped us get tight. It also helped us learn how to be serious about what we do. For as much work as it was and how sunburned we got, it was totally worth it. We were grateful to be on it. A lot of people now know who we are.
So what is the plan for the next six months?
ANDY: The plan is to go out and play more rock and roll shows. That’s what we do and all we know how to do.
TAYLOR: We’d like to get on a large tour with some, large band and play to lots of people.
TRAVIS: We really don’t know what the next six months hold for us yet, but the one thing we know is we won’t be home. We are going to keep on touring and meeting more people.
I’ve always wondered how 4 straight guys, touring across the U.S. in a van, find the privacy to masturbate.
TRAVIS: We stay in hotels.
Yeah, but don’t’ you share rooms?
CHRIS: Well, they usually have sex dividers in the rooms. Usually there’s like a pullout couch, half a wall and then a couple of beds.
TRAVIS: Fuck that, If you fuckin’ want to beat off you can do it in the shower.
CHRIS: I’m not going to do it in the shower. I might step in yours (cum).(laughter)
It washes down the drain, mortal
CHRIS: How do I know if it washes down the drain? Maybe it will hit the wall and I rub up against it. (more laughter)
So where do you masturbate?
CHRIS: On girls (everybody laughs)
Final question! Tell me about Poison
TAYLOR: (grabs the mic) Oh!… I’m the number one Poison fan. I like every single song! Every single song is a great, pop rock and roll song. I like “Nothing But A Good Time,” “Fallen Angel,” “Unskinny Bop” and “I Want Action.” I really want to meet these guys because they inspired me. Even though I started listening to them only four months ago, they’re awesome! (Laughs) They are my favorite band ever. I love those guys.
ANDY: C.C. Deville is just, fuckin’ hilarious!
CHRIS: I love Poison. I think I love them more than Taylor.
TAYLOR: No way, dude!
CHRIS: I’m going to say I do. He knows nothin’ about having a good time. You know, Taylor doesn’t drink or do drugs.
Yes, I know! If you were gay, which member of Poison would you do?
TRAVIS: Brett. He’s hot. He has those lips that just put up like this (Travis puckers) Oooh!
TAYLOR: I’d do Ricky Rockett dude. He’s the cutest one. Did you see the ‘Hollyweird” picture? He’s hot, dude! And he has a clear drum set.
TRAVIS: “Hollyweird” sucked.
TAYLOR: It’s not the best, but there’s some catchy songs on it.
TRAVIS: It sounds like the same, fuckin riffs they always play.
TAYLOR: Excuse me, have you ever listened to our songs? (laughs)
Uh Oh.
TAYLOR: I don’t care. I love Poison. I’m more into their old stuff, but I cherish them. They are in my heart. I love you guys.
Eulogies
“I am so devastated! They were so young and such a great fucking band. These guys became really good friends of ours over this past summer. Just as things were getting rolling for them, the world will be missing out on some great rock!”
-D.O.R.K.
“In a time when pop-punk, emo, and punk have no difference on national airwaves, it was good to see a group of mohawked kids remind of what pop-punk was all about. Although we’ll never see Chris’ bling shimmer again and we’ll never know how Taylor kept his mohawk so high, the Lazy Generation have been inspired and the F-Ups will never be forgotten.”
-The Commodes
“The F-Ups were a very “special” group of boys, but we loved them anyway. Their milkshake brought all the boys to the yard. They will be missed.”
– Nicole Sweeney
“The F-Ups were a great band and will be missed by all. Family, friends and fans will miss them dearly. Travis had a wonderful voice and played guitar really well. Chris was a great guitarist and back up vocals. Taylor was one of the greatest drummers I’ve seen live. Andy was great on bass and also back up vocals. I and many of you will miss them. Not even death will split them up because I feel that they are still rockin where ever they are.” \m/
-Lori a.k.a MohawkGirl
The Fups were such a kick ass band!!! All the guys were soo sweet and nice! I’m really going to miss them especially Chris because he was always so much fun to talk to. They had so much energy on stage, and I will always remember their live show. Their album is great and will live on forever. I will always love them and their music
– Genna
The F-Ups are awesome guys who make awesome music. They are the band that has made me start liking pop punk again so it is to bad they are dead, at least I got to meet them before the tragic night.
-Laura
“When I heard the sad, sad news that the f-ups had died only moments after i had last seen them, i was heartbroken. it’s hard to see someone go at such a young age. so young, so talented, & so pretty. I will miss the laughs, & the tears…ok so there were never any tears, until now. they will be missed, & then everyone will move on.”
-Love Erin in Denver
“I was extremely upset to hear teh the f-ups have been murdered, and although their music and their memories will live on forever, they will be truly missed! that is until we forget about them and are all brain washed by Maris The Great!!”
-<3 Tatum
“The death of The F-Ups has been a huge shock and tragedy to the entire world. It’s sad to see these awesome musicians not get the opportunity to live up to their full potential. They had a big future ahead of them. As they say, the good die young. Their absence will forever effect the lives of us mortals. May their legend and music live forever.”
-Jordan
“The F-Ups were an amazing band. It is just sad that they died before they could make it big. They will be truly missed.”
-Meghan
When I heard that The F-ups had died all that went thru my mind was damn I never go to tell Chris that I luved his spinner chain!!! I will never get to give Taylor the McDonald cookies I promised him!! Andy will never get to share his beloved Jack Daniels with me or tell Travis thankz for saying Hi to me at warped ¦I can t go on, I miss them so much!! R.I.P The F-ups you will be missed!!
~XViciousDreamerX(Mayra)
“The F-Ups were a lovely bunch of boys, who will never be forgotten. The impact they had on the world (along with their love for Poison, lunch meat, and women’s clothing, that is…) will never cease to exist, so long as their music stays alive in the hearts of teenyboppers everywhere. They will be greatly missed. Wait a minute, who in the hell am I kidding? No one, that’s who … in which case I recant the aforementioned, and will simply say … rest in peace, mother-fuckers, if you’re lucky.”
-Eillah
Photographs by Zac
Special thanks to Teabag, Catalina Soltero and D.O.R.K.