Most mortal bands do not keep the same members. Tell my Greatness how LOVE .45 have managed to keep the original lineup.

DANNY: We’re all best friends. We’ve put each other through a lot of shit, but we love each other. Plus, most of the band is married. We’re pretty grounded. There would be no reason to leave. It wouldn’t be the same if one of us left the band.

PAUL: We’re definitely a family. We fight like family and we love each other like family.

JIM: We’ve been together for six years. The reason it works out so well is because everybody can read each other’s thoughts when it comes to the music. That’s why we stay together. I hate each and every one of them (laughs) but that’s why we keep it together.

MICKI: I have nothing better to do with my free time (laughs). The guys let me hang out with them. They let me be in their band and be cool, so that’s what I’ve been doing with my life for the last six years (everybody laughs).

Tell my Greatness some dirt on each other

JIM: Danny doesn’t know what he likes in women (everybody laughs). He’s a lot like Jerry Seinfeld when it comes to women. He will pick out the littlest flaw in any woman he meets.

DANNY: They are all beautiful and I love all of them, but only for a few minutes. I don’t want anything permanent.

MICKI: Here’s some dirt on Danny. He’s a really angry sleeper. When ever we go on the road, sometimes we end up having to share beds in our hotel rooms. I’ve never had to sleep in the same bed as Danny, but Jim once did, and in the morning Danny is sprawled all over Jim, just laying on top of him (Laughs).

I always wondered about your sexuality, mortal. Are you gay?

DANNY: Oh my God, I can’t believe you are fuckin’ asking me that. No! I love women

JIM: (Laughs) He was all over me. I had to just push him off. Everybody heard me. I was like, “Get the fuck off of me!” (Laughs).

MICKI: Yeah, he’ll be sound asleep and he’ll suddenly sit up in his bed and say “Hablablalfillblmuserub!” (Everybody laughs) Then he’ll lay down and fall back asleep again.

JIM: It’s just not the same on a road gig unless he gets up in the morning and does some weird sleep thing. (Laughs). One morning he jumped out of bed and screamed “We’re late! we’re late! we’re late! (More laughter).

Micki, I’ve heard you are a kinky mortal.

MICKI: Only with my wife.

What do you do that qualifies you as kinky?

MICKI: My wife is a dirty, dirty, dirty whore (laughs). She’s nasty. She ties me up and beats me – stuff like that. And I like it! (Laughs) That’s why I married her. I had to search the world over to find a girl that is as perverted as my wife. Once I found her, I married her immediately (more laughter).

Who perverted who?

MICKI: I perverted her. She had a natural inclination to perversion. I came along and showed her the way to bring it out. Now I’ve created a monster that won’t stop! (Everybody laughs)

JIM: When I used to live with Micki I had to listen to it all the time on the other side of the wall.

What did you hear?

JIM: (Makes groaning sounds) Oh baby, yeah that’s it. You’re a whore! Spit on me honey!

(Everybody laughs).

I’m curious Micki, have you ever had anything stuck up your ass?

MICKI: Yes, my wife sticks things up my ass as often as possible. Right now were just trying to work our way up to larger objects.

(Everybody laughs)

How large is large?

MICKI: Well, right now we’re up to Pert shampoo bottles. (More laughter). We’re tying to work our way up to a fist and an entire forearm.

Is your mortal butt hairy or smooth?

MICKI: My butt is baby smooth. I like to shave the hair to get it out of the way. That way when my wife is fucking me there isn’t any friction (laughs).

I’ve heard the term for that is “punting” by the way.

MICKI: Punting? (Everybody laughs)

Speaking of wild, mortal women, tell me an ex “psycho girlfriend” story

JIM: After I got divorced, I hooked up with a crazy, out of control, drinking ex stripper. I, myself was drinking in the middle of the week until three or four in the morning. I was having sex in the parking lot. I was totally out of control. Anyway, we had a name for this girl. It was “Man-Girl.” She had this beautiful body, titties -everything. But she was like this tough biker chick. She wanted me to ride on her bike with the leather hat (laughs). I think she was a lesbian, but wasn’t ready to come out yet. She had too many tendencies. She wanted to build me a deck (laughs). She was always on top. Never once was I ever on top. But I’m over it. I have a new wonderful wife.

MICKI: I had the best psycho ex-girlfriend. Her name was Monica. She was the spawn of the devil’s asshole, man (laughs). She was the worst fuckin’ human being on the planet. I don’t know why I dated her for. Probably because we had good sex. I moved in with her for one week and I swear to God I moved out a week later. When I was moving out, I had to leave some of my stuff there. I had a waterbed and some jackets that were left. This bitch goes and cuts my water bed open with a fuckin’ butcher knife, cuts my jackets up. BITCH! I fuckin’ hated her. She was great for song writing material. If you listen to a lot of our earlier songs, they are about her. Even a couple of our new songs are hold-overs from that era.

DANNY: There was this girl who used to come religiously to our shows who I named Calibus. She was quite a boozer. One night, after a show, she wanted me to go home with her. I said “No, I’m not going home with you.” So she started crying right there because I wouldn’t take her home. She was so gross and weird. She stopped coming to shows after that.

JIM: Whenever you go on the road you meet these oddball people. When you see it on MTV, you see all the beautiful girls. In real life, you meet a hot girl every now and then, but a lot of the times you meet these freaks (laughs). We name them. We give them special names based on some physical flaw so that we can remember them later. For instance, there’s “Big eye, small eye,” “Butt Sex,” “Man Hands,” “Fetal Alcohol” (Laughs).

MICKI: “Fetal Alcohol” was this chick that looked like an adult version of a deformed infant. She had eyes on the side of her head like a deer! (Laughs).

How about you, Paul?

PAUL: I have no ex psycho girlfriends. I am a man of peace. I am like Gandi (laughs).

Ok then, tell me how did LOVE .45 begin?

PAUL: It started about five years ago. MICKI and I worked together and…what happened? I don’t remember. Scratch this answer.

DANNY: It actually was six years ago. Anyway, Micki and Paul had been playing together for years and years, just like Jim and I. What ended up happening was that they were getting ready to part company with their bassist and drummer and start something new. They met my brother at a club and he turned them on to me. Jim actually used to play down the block from these guys. He was leaving his band so they hooked up with him, we all met and talked about it one night and here we are, three records later.

You all were originally long hairs. Why the hair cuts?

MICKI: I got tired of looking like a reject from 1984. I had long hair for a really long time and I wanted a change. We all had hair down to our butts. I just got tired of the look.

JIM: Paul came in one day with all his beautiful locks cut off. We were totally shocked.

PAUL: It was time…

DANNY: (In mock english accent) It was time to take the makeup off! (laughs). We didn’t think people would respect us anymore! (more laughter)

PAUL: Well as you know Maris, everybody had long hair back then. Now everybody has short hair. Why? I don’t know. Why does the sun rise?

Both you and Mick were in a band called Razzle Dazzle. Was it glam?

MICKI: It was sort of glam. We didn’t really wear a whole lot of makeup. We did in the beginning, when we didn’t know any better. But as the years went by, it fell by the wayside. It was more the style of music that might have put us in that category.

PAUL: The great thing about that experience was that it helped us evolve. One doesn’t wake up one day and be in a brilliant band like Love .45 (laughs). You have to evolve to get to that point. Razzle Dazzle was the vehicle for Micki and I to evolve and figure out who we wanted to be.

How did you settle on the LOVE .45 sound?

MICKI: It just happened. We didn’t decide on anything. We sound like the way we do because it’s what sounds cool to us. We never try to make a song sound a particular way.

Your first record was “Day Glo” How do you see that record in retrospect?

DANNY: I see it as a stepping stone. I think everything we’ve ever done is cool

JIM: Except for those awful bass lines (Laughs).

DANNY: Hey! I worked fuckin’ hard on those bass lines (laughs). I don’t think it’s a bad album by any means. I listen to it every now and then. It always hold up. A lot of people didn’t get that record because we didn’t make that many, but I think it is every bit as good as anything we’ve done since.

PAUL: It’s what we could do with the budget we had. You always think you can improve what you’ve done. I think the tunes are pretty good. I pop it in every once and while and I always think the stuff is still good.

JIM: There could have possibly been better cover art, but what do you expect? Paul did it on his home computer

PAUL: Oh yeah, scratch what I just said. I’m gonna say this instead. The biggest thing I learned from doing “Day Glo” was that I’m a musician, not a graphic artist. I’ve learned to get people who have expertise in various areas such as graphic art to help the band. I am at my best when I focus on the songwriting.

JIM: The high point for me with “Day Glo” was that we met up with Ben (Tanler, producer for all three Love .45 CDs). We also worked with Scott Rennick from Sad Star Cafe.

PAUL: We met Ben and it was the beginning of a great relationship.

Something I admire about your guitar style, mortal is that you never try to be too dazzling. You seem content to give a song what it needs and then back off.

(Everyone nods in agreement)

PAUL: I try to make my solos a song within a song. I don’t believe in showing off. Even if I wanted to show off I’m not sure I could (laughs). I’m not that technically proficient.

Everyone in the beginning of their music careers tries to emulate someone they admire. Who is the inspiration of LOVE .45?

DANNY: Kiss. All of them. All we’re tying to do is have a great time. If we are emulating anyone or anything it’s bands like Kiss that are all about getting on stage and putting on a big show. We’re having a party on stage and we want all of you people out there to enjoy the party too. If we’re just standing there like the Grateful “fuckin'” Dead, nobody is gonna give a shit. But if we are partying and having a good time, it’s contagious.

PAUL: We don’t sound like Kiss, but we emulate the Kiss vibe and attitude about entertainment. We like to think big. If you see us play live, we want you to leave feeling like you just left a concert at the Pepsi Center. That’s our vibe. We’re all about the big rock show.

So if LOVE .45 played a place like The Pepsi Center, fans could count on a huge show huh?

PAUL: It would be pretty extravagant. We’d pull out all the tricks. We’d have lights, lasers, smoke and bombs. All the explosions you could handle in one night.

DANNY: Even on a smaller scale, like the Fillmore, which we played yesterday. I don’t mind doing the smaller shows where there is just lights and fog. Just a good rock and roll show. Instead of adding all the things to make it bigger, just take your big self and portray that without all the bombs and shit behind you. I mean, all four of us are bombs.

JIM: We bomb all the time! (laughter)

MICKI: I like to fantasize what shows would be like. I like to turn our CD on, put the headphones on, lay there in bed, close my eyes and visualize what the concert would be like. The thing I always thought was exciting about going to shows at McNichols (Arena) was that moment right before the band comes on. The lights go down, the tension is there and you’ve been waiting like 20 or 30 minutes. The crowd is going nuts. There’s this big, black curtain that covers the stage. Then, all of a sudden, the music starts and the curtain drops…man. That’s enough for me right there.

JIM: As long as there’s a lot of confetti and I have a chicken salad sandwich afterwards, I’m happy.

MICKI: When I started out, I was like 14 or 15, so my big heroes were like Vince Neil of Motley Crue. I was really into trying to emulate him. When Poison first came out, I was in High School so I thought they were really cool. So Bret Michaels and Vince were who I started out relating to and thinking were really cool.

How do you approach your vocals, Micki?

MICKI: I approach them a little from the left.

(Everybody laughs)

OK, the second album was self-titled. What is your view of it now?

JIM: I’m not necessarily happy with my drum stuff. Overall, based on the response we got from everyone, we’re happy with it.

PAUL: I think it’s a really good CD. It’s done really well for us. It opened a lot of doors. It’s a project we’re really proud of.

MICKI: There are some pretty good songs on there. The songs were songs we had written and thought were cool. That’s the main deciding factor on what ends up on our CDs – if we like the songs. We weren’t trying to write anything with too much focus on trying to make people like us or hate us. What came out of us was who we were and where we were coming from at the time.

You don’t concern yourself too much with what mortals outside of the band will think huh?

MICKI: Other bands might sit around and dog it, but I don’t write to please anyone else. Fuck what they think. I write for me and these guys because we have a good time doing it.

What lessons were learned from that CD that you put to good use in creating your new CD, Larger Than Life?

DANNY: We took our time. We spent the dollars and did whatever we had to do to take things up to the next level. We took our time writing and getting the songs right. We took time producing, recording and mastering. We mastered the fuckin’ thing twice. It is everything we wanted it to be.

PAUL: We worked on everything to the farthest extent we could. Even up to the first day of recording we were still tinkering with different things in the songs. In fact, the first day in the studio I showed up and said “Guys, I have a couple of quick changes.”

JIM: There were two songs we pulled out of our asses and recorded them in two days. I enjoy listening to those two songs a lot, because I still don’t know what I’m playing (laughs).

Which two songs?

PAUL: Danny’s song, “Smile” and “Turn Around,” which Micki wrote.

The undead normally don’t care for ballads, but “Smile” is an exception. This is also your first lead vocal, Danny. Tell me about how it came together.

DANNY: I wrote that for my ex-girlfriend, Kristen. I just got to a point in my life where I didn’t know if I wanted to be in a relationship with her anymore. I wanted to be out, but didn’t know how to do it without flipping my life upside-down.

You say you wanted to be out huh?

DANNY: (Laughs) Oh, shut up!…so I left and that song comes from leaving a relationship without knowing if you’ve made the right decision. And to this day I go back and forth. Some days I’m madly in love with her and other days I want to choke her.

What you really want to choke is your repressed homosexuality

DANNY: I can’t believe you fuckin’ said that! I love girls all the way around.

Well that sounds pretty defensive.(Turns to the rest of the band) Do you believe him?

PAUL: Yeah, I believe him…

DANNY: You’re not printing that!

PAUL: I want to know if you’re asking more about the record…

No! I want to know more about the closeted mortal life of Danny!

PAUL: Basically it’s just a good solid rock record. If you like rock and roll, you got to get our CD. You can just put it in, crank it up, sit back, relax and enjoy it…

JIM: Personally, I think Danny might have been molested when he was younger.

DANNY: Oh My God! I wasn’t molested!

JIM: Well, it’s still my theory

Well, do you think he’d be the type to play the field – picking up tricks in gay bars, or do you think you’d be the type to settle down with a nice guy?

JIM: He’d be the type to settle down with a nice guy. He’s that kind of person.

DANNY: I can’t believe you’re saying this! (Laughter) You are not printing this!

Would he be a top or a bottom?

JIM: He’d be the pitcher.

I can’t imagine a person who sings a soft song like “Smile” being a pitcher

JIM: You’ve got a point there, I can’t either! (Much laughter).

If you all were to dress in drag, who do you think would make the best looking woman?

JIM: I think Micki. He’s got the best legs for it.

MICKI: I’d look like a crack whore. My legs are boney and skinny

(Everybody laughs)

Micki, you have the other ballad on the album with “Turned Around.” You always sidestepped ballads until now. Why the change?

MICKI: The first couple of records we did as kind of an experiment. “Day Glo” was a learning tool. The songs were what they were. On the second one didn’t have any ballads either because I had written almost all of the lyrics and the songs reflected who I was at the time. On this record, things are a little bit different. Our lives have all changed. I got married. I wrote “Turned Around” for my wife. I have more things to write about. As more experience comes into your life, you translate that into what you write and it leads to different styles.

Did you feel threatened and secretly want to beat Danny up for doing the lead vocals on his song?

MICKI: No, Danny has a great voice and “Smile” was a personal song for him. If I had sang it, it wouldn’t have had the same emotion.

What are some of the other songs on the album you think shine?

MICKI: Well, in addition to “Smile,.” I like”Turned Around.” That one is about my wife. I also really like “Transparent.”

I want to know what you mortals are listening to these days.

JIM: I just got a James Taylor CD I’m really into. I also like Lit and Foo Fighters.

PAUL: On the lighter side, I’m all about Prince, Cheap Trick and The Beatles.

What about the heavier side?

PAUL: I don’t like to get too heavy. I like to stay around 160 lbs. (Laughter)

DANNY: The lightest for me would most likely be Captain and Tenille…

The favorite of gay mortals everywhere!

DANNY: Fuck you! (Much laughter). I like Prince a lot. Just because I play rock and roll doesn’t mean I listen to a lot of it. I really don’t. There is a whole lot more shit out there than there is good stuff. Having said that, I like Pantera. Godsmack is pretty cool.

MICKI: Actually, I listen to classical music when I want to get really light. I really like Foo Fighters a lot. I like Green Day, Lit, Blink 182. I’m not into really, really heavy music. I can appreciate it. There are bands around town that play a lot heavier than we do. Rocket Ajax, Tread, Rogue – we’re friends with all those guys. I appreciate what they do, but for me, I’ve never been into the heavier, dark Metal.

You guys have done a cover song on two of your CD’s. How do you choose the song?

MICKI: They came about by accident. We just enjoy taking an old rock song and rocking it out a bit. Like the Elvis song, the original is a lot more mellow and not as punked out as we did it.

PAUL: We like to pick and do songs that sound completely different by the time we are done with them. I mean, what would the point of doing a Kiss song be if we ended up making it sound just like Kiss.

Being there are major Kiss fans in the band, why hasn’t one of their songs made it onto a disc?

MICKI: Because the argument would go on for days as to which song would be the one covered.

PAUL: I could do any song off any album. Which one would you like to hear, Maris?

I think “Shandi” sounds very LOVE .45

PAUL: We could play anything. “Baby Driver,” “Mr. Speed,” “Ladies Room,” it’s endless.

Well, the curiosity of My Greatness has been satisfied. This should pretty much wrap it up mortals. Any final comments?

DANNY: I am not gay! If you fuckin’ print that (laughs). I love girls! pussy, titties…I love it all! None of them have hair on their faces or their asses…well there were a couple (Everybody laughs).