First question is for Chad. Why don’t you tell us all why you’re such a bitch?

CHAD: Because Ty’s a homo, like you, but not really, because he takes it up the anus a lot more than you do.

Well I guess that kind of answers my next question, but here goes…If you had to guess, based on behavior, which member of the band is most likely a closeted homosexual, which member would you choose?

MIKE: I think it would be Chad because he talks about anus’s a lot (laughs). Every now and then I see him looking at Ty and I’m like, “What the fuck is up with that?” (Laughs).

FRED: I would say Michael because he’s hosed me (more laughter)

MIKE: And I would say Fred because he invented the word, anus.

TY: I would say it’s Fred too because he does talk about anus a lot (more laughter).

It’s interesting that you two gang up on Fred. It seems like everybody usually likes to fuck with you, Ty. Why do you think that is?

TY: I think it’s because I’m a very outgoing person and everybody likes me…and I”m so neato. (Laughs)

CHAD: I think Ty’s a bitch because during band practice he likes to swing his guitar around his anus so we can all have nice…yes…yes…Ok, I’m stoned, I’m sorry.

FRED: People like to fuck with Ty because he likes to put on fake nails and talk shit – and he can’t back it up. (Laughs).

FOMOFUIAB have a very special chemistry that makes you really good. Do you think most bands are jealous of it or supportive?

TY: I don’t think anyone is jealous of our music. It just so happens that we are a bunch of good guys that play well, that just happened to get together.

CHAD: I think we have a lot of love from this Denver music scene right now. That’s the way we need it. Most of the people that talk shit…I just don’t think they’re ready for our kind of music.

FRED: I don’t think we’re amazing. I think we have a lot of work to do because we suck.

MIKE: I think the jealousy factor is outdated. I think a lot of the bands are over that shit. Pretty much every band we play with we get along with. We’re down with every band and hopefully every band is down with us.

CHAD: I think it’s good for people to talk shit because it makes us better musicians.

Who do you think is the most underrated local band aside from yourself?

TY: Noneya.

MIKE: They just started playing out. They are young and a lot like us. They are a pretty heavy band and we dig ’em a lot.

FRED: I think the most underrated band in town is Synthetic Delusion. I haven’t seen ’em yet but I’ve heard. I’m gonna see them Friday night and I know they’re gonna dominate.

CHAD: I would say (burps loudly) Noneya. Typecast are another.

MIKE: Earth’s Other Sun too. Too bad they aren’t around anymore because they were sick! The bassist is dominant.

Speaking of dominant bass playing, you’ve got your shit down too Mike. Do I hear jazz in your background?

MIKE: I started out playing funk and jazz. That’s where all my influence is from. I’m too hyper to play that shit all the time which is why I play metal. But if you look at my bass lines, if you were to transcribe them, the way I write it and put it to Fred’s drums, it’s all funk. It’s all about groove. I play with Fred the whole time.

What made you want to play bass in the first place?

MIKE: Well, I started out playing guitar when I was 13. Then I heard Geddy Lee from Rush and I was like, “That’ s fucking sik.”(Laughs). So I pick it (the bass) up and I’ve played it ever since.

Freddy, tell me about your life as a drummer.

FRED: I started playing when I was like, 11. I played for like, three years with out even playing on a set. I played symphonic, classical, boring shit. Then, I bought a set and ever since then I’ve been hooked up on the shit. I got a drum teacher, a guy named Jimmy Bauchaut – He taught me a lot. He taught me how to expand my mind and not be just a fucking Metal head. He made me see the other styles that were out there. I think it’s lame when people take Metal and give it this image that things have to be heavy all the time. People are afraid to expand their minds and explore other types of music. Checking out other types of music is how you stay innovative and do something that’s fuckin’ new.

I can hear it in your playing.

FRED: I get bored just playing Metal all the time. It’s nice to have a bassist who knows how to do other things.

It’s your turn, Chad.

CHAD: I have zero background as a vocalist. I guess my main influence would be like, Acid Bath, Faith No More and ‘Chile Peppers. Matt Holt from Nothingface. I”ve been only singing for about a year and a half. I wouldn’t be shit if it weren’t for these three other motherfuckers. They’ve taught me a lot. I’ve learned so much in this band.

Ty, you play like someone that’s been passionate about guitars his whole life. Am I right or am I right?

TY: Well actually, I started out playing drums, much the same way Fred did. I played percussion in orchestra in school. I eventually got a set. That just taught me a lot about rhythm. I was then watching the guitar player playing in front of my drums and I thought it would be fun to walk around. I picked up a guitar and started learning all by myself. I learned gay songs from gay bands like Metallica (Laughs). I never took any lessons until I got into College where I started learning Jazz. I kind of got trained on Jazz. I then met Fred and Mike. They taught me how to groove. My playing has never been the same since.

MIKE: The one thing I like about this band is we push each other to constantly get better. We’re always on each other. We are at our practice space all the time. It’s not because we have to be, it’s because we want to be. We’ve always been like that and it’s always gonna be like that.

There was a rumor around awhile ago that the band was trying to kick Chad out of the band.

CHAD: I guess I was a slacker, though not that much. They were trying to get some other people in the band but I had to step one step up and dominate. I wanted to show them I really cared about this band.

FRED: We needed to let Chad know that we weren’t fucking around. It was one of the best things we ever did because he’s fuckin’ improved a lot. No complaints here, though I still think he’s a bitch (laughs).

The other rumor was that Chad and Ty hate each other.

TY: Yeah, Chad and I never really liked each other. We’re just in this band together because we have to be. Off stage, we hate each other’s guts.

Tell me some dirt on each other.

TY: He has a detachable penis (laughs).

CHAD: Ty has a detachable anus.(Laughs)

So now that we know about each of you, tell me how it all came together in a band.

MIKE: Fred and I played together in a band. It sucked but we clicked right away. We instantly had a connection. When that band went to shit we decided to form a new band together. I started looking around and found Ty. We jammed one time and it immediately clicked. That’s how the three of us got together. So when it came to Chad joining, Ty said, “Yeah, I know this kid. He’s bad-assed, but you guys will fuckin’ hate him.” (Laughs).

Did you?

MIKE: Hell yeah! (Laughs). We were like, “He better not come down here again cuz he fuckin’ sucked! (more laughter). I mean, the three of us were at an advanced level as far as our playing. Chad hadn’t ever sang before and we picked up on that right away.

Then how did he end up in the band?

MIKE: He kept coming back. He knew all our songs. He kept at it and it fuckin’ paid off. When everybody hears our new CD they’ll realize he’s the fuckin’ man now.

TY: How I met Chad was I was downtown, he came up to me on break. I was just kind of sitting there and he started bugging me. He said he played bass. He was gonna be my bassist for a band I was gonna try and put together. Soon after that I met Fred and ended up in this band. But that’s how Chad came into the picture. He was gonna play bass for my band.

What was the name of your band gonna be?

TY: The Ty Fury band

(Everybody laughs)

CHAD: Ty and I have the same ear for music. We really click. I can hear a note and name it in my head. I don’t know music theory, chords, or any of that, but Ty and I are on the same level head-wise.

Your music sounds very trippy at times. Is being stoned and/or drunk a prerequisite to playing?

TY: When we play live, sometimes we’ll let things get out of hand. We’ll have one too many drinks, but we try to keep it down. Sometimes we’ll go out and smoke a fat bowl and then jam out. Most of the time, however, it’s just us: four dicks, sober.

CHAD: Everybody in this band has to smoke a fat bowl. Everybody but Mike, cuz he’s straight edge. But Fred and Ty HAVE to smoke a big, fat bowl of nugz before we go on. Musically, we just kind of do what the song tells us to do, but nugz help broaden our horizon.

MIKE: For me, I don’t get stoned. I drink, but I don’t drink too much when I play because I play like shit.

TY: When we go on stage and play, it’s like a release. When I’m playing my guitar on stage, I’m in a totally different world. All of my solos are pretty much improv. I never play the same thing. I let myself go with the music and it puts me in a different place.

FRED: Music has always been how I disconnect from this fuckin’ world. I’d do it no matter if I was sober, drunk, stoned…whatever. It’s never a matter of what fuckin’ drug I took, it’s a matter of…this is what I fuckin’ do to stay alive.

What’s the greatest compliment you’ve ever received as a band?

MIKE: This guy named Maris once wrote we could get up on stage, fart, pack up and leave and still get ahead in the music scene (laughs) That was awesome.

FRED: It hasn’t happened yet, but if someone comes up to me one day and says, “I heard your CD and I thought you were black,” that would be the best compliment I could ever have.

TY: I think some of the best compliments we’ve ever received has come from other bands that have told us we are a good band and that they like our music. That keeps us driving.

Tell me about your debut, “Pay Attention”

FRED: It’s not a representation of who we are in any way. If you have it, I hope you like it, but our new CD is a really good representation of our band. To really get our vibe though, you have to see us live. That’s where we dominate and domination is what it’s all about.

CHAD: “Pay Attention” is not what we are all about. I think the music kicks ass, but my vocals suck. At that point, I had only been singing for three or four months. When we did that CD, I had been fucked up on valiums the night before.

TY: When “Pay Attention” came out, we were all a really young band. There’s not much more you can expect from a band that’s been together for only four months. We did some really old songs that we don’t usually play anymore. We kind of drifted to another style. It is our music, so it is our band. We just didn’t have a huge budget.

MIKE: I like “Pay Attention.” It’s an old CD of us, but it’s got good songs on it. I think it’s a good CD. I’m still pretty proud of it. We fuckin’ busted our asses to get it out. We don’t have anymore copies left. We went through a 1000 copies of it and I’m pretty proud of that.

Tell me about the new CD.

FRED: We recorded at Rudy’s Studio. Mark Obermeyer is the shit. He hooked us up. And now we have to try so much harder when we play live because it’s so hard to make it sound that good live. I love him. He took the time and made us sound good. He knows how to make drums sound good.

MIKE: The new CD is bad-assed. This is the one we’re gonna get out to people in a big way. This CD shows who we are, where we are right now and the direction we’re going in. This one shows how much we’ve matured as writers and how serious we are about all of this.

CHAD: Anybody who listens to this CD is gonna ‘bate. When you pop the CD in, all you’ll want to do is throw out your shit and start yanking on it. This CD is so fuckin’ sik. I couldn’t be more proud of something. We had a lot of time so we wrote a lot of the stuff right there in the studio. We were there for about a month.

How many songs are on it?

TY: There will be eight to ten songs on it. There are a couple of songs that were on the live section of “Pay Attention” that we did studio versions of, but other than that it’s all new material. It definitely dominates.

Does the CD have a title yet?

MIKE: We don’t have one yet, but we’ve been throwing around “Now in Debt” cuz that’s what we are!

(Everybody laughs)

FRED: I want to call it “Greatest Hits” (laughs). That or maybe “Unreleased.”

CHAD: I’d like to call it “The ‘Bate Sessions.”

(More laughter)

Speaking of names, where did the band name come from?

CHAD: Fred came up with the name. He was in the bathroom one day and he was ‘bating vigorously. In fact, his balls were shaking violently. He’s the founder of the name Four Mother Fuckers In A Band.

FRED: It just made sense, man. That’s what we are.

TY: Fred’s got quite the mind.

If each of you committed a crime that landed you in prison for life, what crime do you think you’d be most likely to commit?

MIKE: Probably genocide. (Laughter). If I was gonna go down, I’m taking people with me.

FRED:: I agree. It would be genocide for me too, but only white people (laughs).

CHAD: I’d break into the Government building that’s filled with nugz and take 47,000 kilos of nugz. I would smoke them all and I would not share with anybody.

TY: If I were to commit a crime it would most likely be that I went to Walmart and stole some shampoo.

MIKE: Actually, I’d go to Walmart and steal tampons dude. It’s all good. I like shoving them in Ty’s ass. (Laughter)

So while you’re still on the outside of the prison system, what’s the big dream for the band?

TY: I just want to live off of playing my guitar. It’s all I know how to do.

FRED: Play what we fuckin’ love.

CHAD: I just want to go on the road and see the fuckin’ world. That and get our music heard by everyone in the world.

MIKE: To be able to quit our jobs and make a living playing music. That’s what we want. I mean, were always gonna play what we want to play, but if we can get paid for it, we’re down with it. That’s our goal.

Is there anything else you’d like to say about anything.

CHAD: Yeah, I can smell Ty’s anus and it stinks.